Rabbi Esther Azar MSW
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Our Rabbi's were clear, Judaism maintains 2 traditions, written and oral. For countless years many have held the earlier ideas and thoughts as more authentic to the original. In this blog we will reclaim the authenticity of a Torah for our times. Reading the words of our Written Torah (Bible) with an oral tradition that changes and shifts with the times we live in was our earliest Rabbi's original intention. An Oral Torah that is informed by the values and needs of society. For if we were to remain stuck in the past we risk creating a Judaism that no longer holds God's original intention, a people dedicated to breaking the cycles of injustice and creating a society where we are each seen in, The  Image of the Divine. 


The Oral tradition must be reclaimed, we are gifted with a history rich in Jewish discourse but we must remember that just as Moshe entered the Beit Midrash of Akiva and had no understanding of what Akiva was teaching so too must Akiva enter our Beit Midrashot and be confused by the Torah we are teaching.
For all is Halakah L'Moshe M'Sinai. 
​Talmud Bavli Menakhot 29b

ReReading Torah- Take another look...

10/25/2018

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We are constantly being bombarded with notions of patriarchy in the world. The Biblical Canon is no different. Living in the liberal Jewish world I am constantly surrounded by friends, colleagues and students, reading the biblical text ready for a fight. Ready to react with incredulousness around the patriarchal ideas within our biblical stories. And yet, if we look at the stories without the rabbinic gloss of "Jewish heroes", we might see something surprising. Our characters and stories, are rife with complexity. A barren mother, Sarai, takes her handmaiden, Hagar, and makes her into a sister wife, to produce an heir. And in a turn of fate Hagar becomes the mother of Sarai’s child and the the tables have turned, the oppressed handmaid assumes authority over the matriarch. And when Hagar feels power over Sarai, and Sarai feels diminished, she takes her power back through abuse.
Cycles of oppression are laid out in front of us clearly and now that we as a world can name those systems we can see that our biblical text is not a guide book for healthy living. Rather a playbook for living within an oppressive society with a hope for change. Living within a system of oppression we are required to fulfill roles that uphold the system. Our Rabbi’s unable to identify that system struggle to make sense of a text that is difficult. They do what they must, to make the text fit with their own values and ideas about life. They flip the texts on their heads to prove that our fore-parents lived ethical lives and were chosen for their greatness.

​But the truth lies in the text not in, rabbinic calisthenics.

​Biblical society is based on a patriarchal system and when one lives within a system, rather than within their own truth they run the risk of oppressing others to maintain the status quo.


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Lech Lecha: God's Perspective

10/19/2018

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Is it possible
Is he the one?
I’ve been waiting so long.
His son died and he realized there must be something more.
He got up.
Picked up his family and left.
Hope rises, they have seen a new world.
Wait! They’ve stopped-
Why are they stopping?
I was so hopeful,
I guess I was wrong.
Who is going to heal the mistakes I made?
I keep trying, and no matter what I have tried I...
Oh wait, look, his son- 
is it possible?
His father prepared him, started the journey, and he’s seen, he’s seen that things can be different.
and he’s begun to wonder what it’s all about. 
He’s prepped and ready. 
Let’s see if he takes the bait,
Can i can peak his curiosity?

“Lech lecha”- go to your self-

Look he stopped, he wondered.
Self what is a self?
Oh wait I think he’s starting to see
there is a world inside,
hidden from others - hidden from himself.
Ah look, a moment of confusion, unsure of what he’s seen.
His curiosity takes him further inside.
I think this might be it...
Lets add a dimension

“lech lecha meartzecha”-go to yourself, from your earth,

​he’s looking around, noticing things never seen before.
Part of something bigger, he looks up at the night sky and sees the earth reflected back to him.
Look at his amazement, his awe
look at his face lit by the moon,
his insides, starting to recognize that they too are part of something bigger.
The land holds him up in this numinous universe.
Is that a question I see?
Ah yes! He realizes that his father knew it too that’s why he made them leave-

But why did we stop? he wonders.

Let me push a little further

“mimoladetcha”from the place of your birth,

ah there it is-
that look, the one that recognizes that something came before, 
and now, there it is, the fall-
the recognition that something will come after,
he remembers his brother, their support taken from them.

​To where? he wonders...
 
​Look, look, can you see it?
His body getting restless just like his father years before.
Lets see, can we push him further,

“mi beit avicha” from your father’s house,

What? Whats that? My father, I need to leave my father?

Oh no, have I gone to far?
Wait, look, there it is -
he sees it- the weight of his past
and how that colors his present, he sees himself in a whole new way.
He begins to strip the layers.
He sees the trauma of his father losing a son.
He sees how that has affected him,
how his father’s ideas have become a weight upon him
that keep him from seeing who he really is,
who he can really be.
This is it
I really found him-
he is the one,
The One I’ve been waiting for-
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Noah: Righteous in His Time???

10/14/2018

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Each year we return to the same biblical portion and it is met with the our new experiences. As I look at the world around me I am struck by the stories that we have told that keep us stuck in a fake news cycle. The stories that we believe because they are passed down from generation to generation through conscious and unconscious, retellings. Our Noah story is no different.
We are oftentimes quick to take on the rabbinic mindset and question Noah’s righteousness- as the biblical verse says Noah was of righteous, wholeness-in his generation- some of our Rabbis take this to be a caveat. Had he been born in another generation he might not have been considered righteous. Oftentimes we compare him to Abraham, who when met with God’s plan to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah argues vehemently. The Rabbis argue, that had Noah been truly righteous he too would have argued. But let’s notice the differences in the two stories. God in deep relationship with Abraham tells him the plan. Abraham already knows he has been chosen as he has once again received a promise of a future. He stands from afar and holds onto his knowing that the world can be a better place, Abraham stands in a position of privilege. He is secure, and once his arguing is over he goes back to his regular life.  
On the other hand Noah meets a God he has no relationship with, within a world of deep pain, and he is given a life vest. Unable to see beyond the muck that he is buried in, Noah cannot perceive an alternate reality because in his mind, there is no other. He must follow the map of the voice leading him forward and even though he has a safety net, he must grapple with what it means to be saved. Noah steps off that ark and returns to the earth recognizing that he is alive. His former reality is destroyed, and now, he must live with that deep searing loss. He does what many of us do. He numbs himself from the pain of the moment, in hopes that he can return to an Eden that no longer exists. A world without pain. Alas he must wake up from that dream and recognize that the pain of this world remains and he must bear its burden.
For us to shame Noah for his ignorance is to hold judgement over the parts of ourselves that cannot know a greater reality. We have all been Noah unable to see beyond our own pain. When I am in that moment I must pray for a life vest, for me and just me. And although I might wish for a world without pain, a world where I can save the other, that might not be possible.  The truth might be that my work is to save myself and although I may not be able to save the other my own healing might allow me to hold their pain. Without Noah, without the ability to stand back up in the face of destruction there could be no Abraham. Yes! Noah was righteous in his generation for without the earlier generations ability to step up and live in the pain the new generation can not stand in their privilege and fight for the other. Each one of us hold parts of Noah and parts of Abraham. To judge our Noah parts, the parts that couldn’t save the other because we were drowning would mean to live in a state of self judgement; ultimately keeping us from stepping forward and being able to hold the other in their pain, which just might be the most, any one of us, can ultimately do.

​
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The Illusion of Bitterness

10/13/2018

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Oftentimes Cheshvan is referred to as the bitter month, Mar-Cheshvan, since there are no holidays or specific mizvot/deeds to fulfill. But this idea of bitterness is actually an illusion. The truth of the matter is that Cheshvan is the 8th month of the year and, according to our rabbis, the number 8 is actually a symbol of that which is beyond the physical world. There are no actions to take in the number 8 because this is a month that is beyond physical action. It is a hidden time of spiritual renewal. After the preparation in the 6th month of Elul leading up to the 7th month of Tishrei and its intense spiritual work, the 8th month becomes a time of absorption: a time where we appear more focused on the physical world. Who could blame us, after 4 weeks of holidays? But if we were to truly dig deeper we might notice the spiritual dormancy that lies beneath. 
It is the beginning of the darkest part of the year. It appears as a time of death, but actually it is the appearance of death that brings forth new life. Ultimately this is a moment of hiddenness where physical appearances fail us and we must literally dig deeper into the earth to notice the activity that is happening.
It is no surprise that this month brings with it water, the water of Noah and the prayer for rain. Water in our tradition symbolizes the flow of God’s love. Although Noah’s waters appear as destruction, they are also, and maybe even more importantly, the waters of rebirth. This water is God’s overflowing love that waters the seeds of our spiritual selves that lay in the depths of our being, preparing to birth into our renewed selves for this coming year.
The number 8 and the month of Cheshvan is the time dormancy in preparation of new birth, so please take a moment now to think about what is birthing in your life.- What appears dormant on the surface but is actually doing the deep work to manifest who you really are in your deepest self?
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Cain and Abel: A Legacy of Shame

10/7/2018

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“I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection. I don’t believe shame is helpful or productive. In fact, I think shame is much more likely to be the source of destructive, hurtful behavior than the solution or cure. I think the fear of disconnection can make us dangerous.”
Brene Brown

Picture
Two children born to parents who have been ripped from their womb and thrown into a world they are not prepared for, a world with judgement. This is the beginning of the world we live in. Bereishit Bara Elohim, might be the beginning of creation but the beginning of life as we know it, starts with human connection. “And Adam knew Chavah his wife…” and within the same sentence Adam is rejected as partner, and Chavah connects with YHVH as the pasuk reads "kaniti ish et Adonai" I acquired a man with God. By the second line their is no mention of their earthly parents, the children of that connection are left to themselves,  seemingly disconnected from their human parents. Left to explore a world that is foreign to those that conceived them they find their way through the work of their hands, Hevel a shepherd and Kayin a farmer...


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  • My Path
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    • Rereading Torah
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    • Trauma Informed Rabbinics
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    • Release The Balloon
    • Election Eve: Growing a Seed of Justice