Is it possible
Is he the one?
I’ve been waiting so long.
His son died and he realized there must be something more.
He got up.
Picked up his family and left.
Hope rises, they have seen a new world.
Wait! They’ve stopped-
Why are they stopping?
I was so hopeful,
I guess I was wrong.
Who is going to heal the mistakes I made?
I keep trying, and no matter what I have tried I...
Oh wait, look, his son- 
is it possible?
His father prepared him, started the journey, and he’s seen, he’s seen that things can be different.
and he’s begun to wonder what it’s all about. 
He’s prepped and ready. 
Let’s see if he takes the bait,
Can i can peak his curiosity?

“Lech lecha”- go to your self-

Look he stopped, he wondered.
Self what is a self?
Oh wait I think he’s starting to see
there is a world inside,
hidden from others - hidden from himself.
Ah look, a moment of confusion, unsure of what he’s seen.
His curiosity takes him further inside.
I think this might be it...
Lets add a dimension

“lech lecha meartzecha”-go to yourself, from your earth,

​he’s looking around, noticing things never seen before.
Part of something bigger, he looks up at the night sky and sees the earth reflected back to him.
Look at his amazement, his awe
look at his face lit by the moon,
his insides, starting to recognize that they too are part of something bigger.
The land holds him up in this numinous universe.
Is that a question I see?
Ah yes! He realizes that his father knew it too that’s why he made them leave-

But why did we stop? he wonders.

Let me push a little further

“mimoladetcha”from the place of your birth,

ah there it is-
that look, the one that recognizes that something came before, 
and now, there it is, the fall-
the recognition that something will come after,
he remembers his brother, their support taken from them.

​To where? he wonders...
 
​Look, look, can you see it?
His body getting restless just like his father years before.
Lets see, can we push him further,

“mi beit avicha” from your father’s house,

What? Whats that? My father, I need to leave my father?

Oh no, have I gone to far?
Wait, look, there it is -
he sees it- the weight of his past
and how that colors his present, he sees himself in a whole new way.
He begins to strip the layers.
He sees the trauma of his father losing a son.
He sees how that has affected him,
how his father’s ideas have become a weight upon him
that keep him from seeing who he really is,
who he can really be.
This is it
I really found him-
he is the one,
The One I’ve been waiting for-

Each year we return to the same biblical portion and it is met with the our new experiences. As I look at the world around me I am struck by the stories that we have told that keep us stuck in a fake news cycle. The stories that we believe because they are passed down from generation to generation through conscious and unconscious, retellings. Our Noah story is no different.
We are oftentimes quick to take on the rabbinic mindset and question Noah’s righteousness- as the biblical verse says Noah was of righteous, wholeness-in his generation- some of our Rabbis take this to be a caveat. Had he been born in another generation he might not have been considered righteous. Oftentimes we compare him to Abraham, who when met with God’s plan to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah argues vehemently. The Rabbis argue, that had Noah been truly righteous he too would have argued. But let’s notice the differences in the two stories. God in deep relationship with Abraham tells him the plan. Abraham already knows he has been chosen as he has once again received a promise of a future. He stands from afar and holds onto his knowing that the world can be a better place, Abraham stands in a position of privilege. He is secure, and once his arguing is over he goes back to his regular life.  
On the other hand Noah meets a God he has no relationship with, within a world of deep pain, and he is given a life vest. Unable to see beyond the muck that he is buried in, Noah cannot perceive an alternate reality because in his mind, there is no other. He must follow the map of the voice leading him forward and even though he has a safety net, he must grapple with what it means to be saved. Noah steps off that ark and returns to the earth recognizing that he is alive. His former reality is destroyed, and now, he must live with that deep searing loss. He does what many of us do. He numbs himself from the pain of the moment, in hopes that he can return to an Eden that no longer exists. A world without pain. Alas he must wake up from that dream and recognize that the pain of this world remains and he must bear its burden.
For us to shame Noah for his ignorance is to hold judgement over the parts of ourselves that cannot know a greater reality. We have all been Noah unable to see beyond our own pain. When I am in that moment I must pray for a life vest, for me and just me. And although I might wish for a world without pain, a world where I can save the other, that might not be possible.  The truth might be that my work is to save myself and although I may not be able to save the other my own healing might allow me to hold their pain. Without Noah, without the ability to stand back up in the face of destruction there could be no Abraham. Yes! Noah was righteous in his generation for without the earlier generations ability to step up and live in the pain the new generation can not stand in their privilege and fight for the other. Each one of us hold parts of Noah and parts of Abraham. To judge our Noah parts, the parts that couldn’t save the other because we were drowning would mean to live in a state of self judgement; ultimately keeping us from stepping forward and being able to hold the other in their pain, which just might be the most, any one of us, can ultimately do.

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